So You Thought You Might Like To Go To The Show......

Hi. Due to overwhelming popular demand, I have decided to write another blog. (Okay, technically, it was one person). Unfortunately, my mind is more blank than Snooki at her PSAT's or Newt Gengrich at an Ethics 101 final. But I did go to a concert on Friday night, so who's up for a review?

I saw Roger Waters (of Pink Floyd fame) at The Arena Formerly Known As The Hartford Civic Center located right in the heart of America's Second Worst City. (I'm still operating on the assumption that Gary, Indiana takes the crown). He performed the Pink Floyd classic album The Wall from start to finish. The Wall has sold 45 million copies--third all time behind AC/DC's Back in Black at 49 million and The King Of Pop's Thriller at 110 million. I would love to see a show where the three are combined. Who wouldn't want to hear Billie Jean Shook Me All Night Long Until I Was Comfortably Numb?

Let's talk about how I got my ticket. I didn't plan ahead so I ended up buying a last minute ticket advertised online. A girl named Rachel was nice enough to sell it for face value: $145. Roger needs the money. I mean The Wall has only sold 45 million copies. Money, it's a hit, don't give me that do-goody good bull$@%t.

I talked to Rachel on Thursday night to make the arrangements. I'm not going to lie; if you had made me guess, I would have said 43 years old, Camel smoker, divorced, drinks mid-priced Cabernet by the caseload. I was actually a bit nervous imagining that her seat was probably in the same row as the extra seat I was buying. I feared Rachel--perhaps during Run Like Hell--would whisper in my ear, "You're kind of cute! Let me buy you a shot after the show at the Federal Cafe!". At this point I would have needed to say, "That's very flattering, but I need to turn in early. Maybe some other time? Maybe at a John "Cougar" Mellencamp show?".

We planned to meet at 7 for the ticket / money exchange. I was greeted by the XL Center's unofficial mascot: the Jesus Freak. There was an exchange that went something like this:

JESUS GUY: Jesus Christ is the Lord And Savior! Jesus wants to save you!"
RANDOM NONBELIEVER GUY: Get the f$%^k out of here!

It looks like The Insurance Capital Of The World is a bit lacking in the faith that moves mountains.

I was apparently also lacking in faith because Rachel, quite contrary to my expectations, was surprisingly cute. A short, cute blonde. Wearing a pink jacket. Because of the Pink Floyd connection? I should have asked her that. Nah maybe not.

But maybe it didn't matter. She asked me if I was with anyone. I said I was by myself. I wonder if her Loser Meter went on high alert. She said she was with two guys and they were all sitting in the same row as my seat. Hmmm. Where did the spare ticket come from? Was it a double date but one of the dudes got dumped by his GF? Did Rachel and her ex split up post-ticket purchase? Could someone not get a babysitter for Friday night? The possibilities were endless.

I gave her $150 for my $145 ticket because that's the kind of guy I am. (And I didn't have a $5). She gave me the ticket and I went to get a couple pre-show beers. I've heard a lot of good things about beer so I decided to see what all the fuss is about.

Then I went to the show. Rachel was sitting two seats down from my seat. And I'm shy. So I didn't initiate any conversations. I did grab a couple more $9 watered down beers. (I would have actually given a $5 tip if they had posted a "Watered Down For Waters" sign outside any of the 34 Bud Light stands). Did her Drunk Loser With No Friends Meter go on high alert? Hey at least I didn't double fist my beers. None of them were drinking at all. So she's cute, a Roger Waters fan, sells tickets for face value, and not a lush. I wonder if she loves horses and America too. Could she get any more perfect? Maybe I should ask the bad boy who don't even miss her whose ticket I was probably taking.

She walked by me right after the show ended and said, "Awesome show". I said, "Yes it was. Thanks again for the ticket". She said, "No problem".

That's that. Of course I do have her number. Unfortunately, my copy of The Brett Favre Guide To Romance was lost in the mail, so her number is useless. Apparently living legend American hero Favre started leaving a girl voice mails who had not even given him her number. He got it through the Jets' public relations officer! Apparently he thought, "I'm Brett F-ing Favre. Do I look like I need the girl's permission to call her?". He forgot she wasn't John Madden so yes he did. When she didn't return his calls he e-mailed her pictures of Little Brett. Oh, he's married. Stay classy Brett.

Where was I? Oh yeah. I have her number but I can't call her because she only gave it to me for a ticket exchange. Texting? Also a bad option. What would I say? "Hey, remember that time we went to see Roger Waters? And you sold me that ticket? And you wore pink? And there was a Jesus fanatic, a light show, and a flying pig? Um...................that was awesome!". Or should I attempt a clever use of Pink Floyd lyrics from The Wall? I could charm her with my wittiness. Let's see..............

Hey you,
Out there in the cold sitting naked by the phone,
Can you feel me?

Okay, not only does that score a perfect 10 on the Creepy Stalker Meter, it's also out of date. No one waits at home by their land line phones anymore. Damn you, wireless technology.

But who needs love when I have rock and roll? The show itself was great. The whole theme of The Wall is the ways people create artificial barriers between themselves and others because they think it's necessary to protect themselves. But that very self-protection can become the enemy until you become completely isolated from those around you. Did I mention this was the 3rd highest selling album in history? A big hit at keg parties and bowling alleys? That either says everyone feels a bit lonely and can therefore relate to this theme, or it just means the music is catchy. Another Brick In The Wall Part 2 has a funky beat. Comfortably Numb is lush and beautiful. It's possible to enjoy the music without even paying attention to the lyrics.

I also enjoyed a video montage early on (I brought my binoculars) showing victims of war including Water's own father in World War ll, an American 9/11 victim, a German soldier in World War ll, and an Iraqi woman. Obviously the idea is that war is tragic and senseless on all sides. And the victims are rarely the perpetrators. But people love building walls so much and enjoying the "us and them" mentality that war goes on anyway.

But the beer still tasted good and the band was still rocking.

An actual wall was built over the course of the show until the whole band was behind a wall halfway through. But Roger has apparently mellowed in his old age because band members appeared in front and on top of the wall soon after. He must have feared everyone in the crowd saying, "I spent $200 to stare at a wall? I could have done this at home for free!"

Another highlight was the use of actual local schoolkids to sing the school chant portion of Another Brick In The Wall Part 2. They were all wearing Fear Builds Walls T-shirts. All African-American kids, so they were probably from one of the local Hartford schools. No doubt this was also part of the attack on the artificial wall building that is racism. Waters--notorious grouch--seemed to love this part himself, saying "You should all be proud of these kids", but he added he was too old to remember the name of their school. I just hope Roger cautioned those kids to not take the "We don't need no education" line too literally. The song is an attack on certain teachers who would hurt the children any way they could, not education itself. Stay in school kids!

I was mildly disappointed that there was no encore. The entire show was The Wall performance. I wonder if Waters thought, "You know, I haven't been in Pink Floyd for 30 years, I should give the audience a taste of my solo magic. I'll close the show with a couple numbers from The Pros And Cons Of Hitchhiking!". But his tour manager suggested less is more.

All in all a good show. Maybe even better than the Pink Floyd show I saw in the mid-90's at Giants Stadium. (The David Gilmour led incarnation of PF). A completely wasted kid puked on my right leg. Seriously. I think it was during Shine On You Crazy Diamond but don't quote me on that. My socks were a casualty of rock and roll that mid-summer night in North Jersey. But in Hartford it's well understood that there is a time and a place for puking and it's called the sidewalk.